Ask most people what they picture when they think of mediation and they will describe something that looks a lot like negotiation under pressure. A mediator shuttling back and forth between rooms, pushing each side toward a number, applying increasing pressure as the day wears on. As most mediators like to brag, “I’m beating up the other room just as much as I am beating you up.” This approach is common. It is also, in Corey Hanrahan’s experience as a San Diego employment law mediator, deeply flawed.
Pressure may produce movement. It rarely produces closure. And in California employment disputes—where the stakes are personal, the emotions are high, and the parties often have deeply held convictions about what happened and why—pressure tactics are more likely to blow up a mediation than resolve one.
De-escalation is a fundamentally different approach. It is also, in practice, a far more effective one.
Why Employment Disputes Require a Different Approach
Employment disputes are unlike most other civil litigation. They involve real people whose livelihoods, reputations, and sense of self-worth are often tied up in the outcome. An employee who believes they were wrongfully terminated, harassed, or retaliated against is not just seeking a financial settlement—they are seeking validation, acknowledgment, and in many cases a sense that justice has been done. There’s also a flip side of that coin. An employer who believes they acted reasonably and in good faith is not just defending a financial exposure—they are defending their reputation and their judgment.
These dynamics make employment disputes uniquely resistant to pressure-based mediation. When parties feel cornered or manipulated, they dig in. When they feel heard and respected, they engage. A San Diego employment law mediator who understands this dynamic will approach the session very differently from one who treats it as a pure negotiation exercise. These disputes are about people and relationships, and most mediators forget that.
What De-Escalation Actually Means in Practice
De-escalation is not a passive approach. It is not about being soft, avoiding difficult conversations, or refusing to challenge unrealistic positions. To the contrary. It is about creating the conditions under which productive negotiation can actually happen—and that requires active, skilled intervention at precisely the moments when other mediators might push harder.
In practice, de-escalation in San Diego employment law mediation looks like this:
Lowering emotional intensity before addressing substance. When a party arrives at mediation angry, hurt, or defensive, the worst thing a mediator can do is immediately push them toward a number. This goes for either side of the table. The first job of a skilled mediator is to help that party feel heard—to acknowledge the emotional reality of their situation without validating or invalidating their legal position. Only once the emotional temperature has come down is productive negotiation possible.
Reframing positions as interests. Most parties arrive at mediation with fixed positions—a number they will accept or a number they will pay, or conversely, a number they will refuse to accept. De-escalation involves helping parties move from positions to interests—from “I will not take less than X” to “what I really need is financial security and acknowledgment of what happened to me.” When both sides are working from interests rather than positions, the range of possible resolutions expands significantly.
Slowing down at critical moments. There are moments in every mediation when the temptation is to push hard and fast—when both sides seem close to a number and the mediator wants to close the gap before anyone changes their mind. A de-escalation approach recognizes that these moments are often when parties most need to slow down, not speed up. A resolution reached too quickly, under too much pressure, is fragile. A resolution reached thoughtfully, with both sides feeling genuinely in control of their decision, holds.
Managing the room after difficult exchanges. Employment mediations often involve moments of genuine anger, grief, or frustration. A skilled San Diego employment law mediator knows how to acknowledge and absorb those moments without letting them derail the session—and how to help parties recover their equilibrium and re-engage with the negotiation after an emotionally difficult exchange. A skilled mediator must be careful how information, especially difficult information, is conveyed. Used correctly that difficult information can resonate with a party and cause a shift in a party’s position. Used incorrectly and that difficult information can cause a party to shut down and stop participating.
Why De-Escalation Produces Better Outcomes
The case for de-escalation is not just philosophical—it is practical. Settlements reached through de-escalation are more durable than those reached through pressure because the parties genuinely chose them. When someone feels pressured into a settlement they did not truly accept, the risk of buyer’s remorse, post-settlement disputes, and damaged relationships is significantly higher.
For attorneys, this matters beyond the immediate case. The goal of employment mediation is not just to get a number on paper—it is to achieve genuine closure for your client. A client who leaves mediation feeling heard, respected, and in control of their own outcome is far more likely to feel at peace with the resolution than one who feels they were pushed into accepting something against their better judgment.
De-Escalation as Corey Hanrahan's Defining Approach
De-escalation is not a technique Corey Hanrahan employs selectively—it is the foundation of his entire approach to San Diego employment law mediation. It was the subject of his 2026 article in the Daily Journal, California’s leading legal publication, and it is what attorneys who work with him consistently identify as the quality that sets his mediations apart.
The conviction behind this approach comes directly from Corey’s nearly two decades of California employment litigation experience. Having sat on both sides of the table in countless employment disputes, he has seen firsthand what happens when mediation becomes a pressure exercise— and what becomes possible when it does not.
Ready to Experience a Different Kind of Employment Mediation in San Diego?
If you are an attorney or party looking for a San Diego employment law mediator who brings a genuinely different approach to the table, Corey Hanrahan is ready to help. With formal mediation training from Pepperdine’s Strauss Institute, federal and state court panel appointments, and a de-escalation philosophy that gets even the most difficult cases resolved, Corey offers something that most mediators simply do not.
Call (619) 910-1200, use the online booking system, or email to schedule your mediation today.
What Happens in Mediation?
The thought of mediation may be intimidating for your clients, especially if they have never participated in one before. This guide will help your clients understand how mediation works, to set them up for success. By being prepared, we can even the power dynamic so that all parties start on the same footing.
